Save the earth druggie…

Lots of hotels now encourage you to use your towels more than once… as an environmentally friendly gesture. This hotel went once step further and illustrated the process.

Apparently, if you use your towel again, you’re a well-fed, upstanding citizen. If you don’t, you’re a malnutritioned crack addict.

Fear not…

Someone is looking out for your stupidity.

Peanuts now carry a warning that they were produced in a facility that processes peanuts.

No fist-bump art?

I’m going to file this under “weirdest attempt at art ever”. These are sculpture recreations of famous handshakes from the 20th century. Sorry about the crappy picture… it was behind glass. Probably because people kept writing “this must be a joke” on it in permanent marker.

Ooops…

Ever wondered what your face would look like if you said the f-word live on national television? Wonder no more…

Secret message received…

New parents are Twittering from the delivery room. From CNN:

Monson posted updates about his wife’s labor to Twitter by using code words only his friends could understand. Instead of posting “my wife just gave birth,” for instance, he wrote, “Operation Bumblebee complete! Ada Elizabeth is 7lbs, 2oz, and is very happy to be here.”

Nice code… no one will ever crack that one. Your friends must be geniuses to be able to decipher that.

Whoops… accidentally smashed the rook

Steroids are officially a problem. I was okay with it in bodybuilding… I expected it in football… it even made baseball a little more exciting. But now, it’s a problem. Vassily Ivanchuk skipped a drug test at the Dresden Olympiad… presumably because he knew he would fail the test. “What’s the Dresden Olympiad?” you might ask. It’s a chess tournament. It’s not even chess boxing… just a regular chess tournament, and they had a drug test. Is this really necessary? Did you have a chess team in high school? Did anyone on the chess team look like they were on steroids? We had a chess team… and it looked like a casting call for “Freaks and Geeks”.

There’s no drug that will make you smarter. If there was, “reality television” wouldn’t exist. Jon and Kate would have to get real jobs.

If chess players are caught with steroids in their system… it’s probably because they’re trying to avoid getting wedgies at 38 years old.

Let’s look the other way on chess players on steroids, and maybe spend that test money on this guy…

I’ll take a million blue ones…

This is the M&M Store in Times Square. Now, I did not get a degree in business… but I’m guessing that the rent here is about $100,000 a month. Their biggest seller is a tiny piece of candy-coated chocolate, that probably goes for about 3 cents retail. Seems like a bad business model… but again, I didn’t major in that. Maybe I should start brainstorming.

“Welcome to Park Avenue Toothpicks.”

Nuzzle…

Perfume for women who love horses. That’s not weird.

Drinking with AIG…

Here’s a quick little video that Andy and I put together.

Not even for a jillion dollars…

Is it possible that when you give birth, the child’s IQ is subtracted directly from yours… leaving you about 125 points shy of a normal human brain?

This one looks like they both narrowly escaped a harrowing accident at a curtain factory. “Holy crap Billy… how did you get back there?”

Kung Fu Mile…

Sometimes God just wants to make you laugh. Today was one of those days.

Even the sharks are on island time

So much for the theory that sharks are always moving. This one would swim up to this rock and lie down.

Do you have that hubcap in a size 4?

Fashion week in Paris:

Fashion week in New York:

Might I be the first to say God bless America… and our penchant for not wearing car parts as headwear.

Another one just for fun.

I’ll just move in…

Studio 6 Extended Stay.

It’s like staying at a Motel 6… only longer.

I can’t imagine anyone waking up in a Motel 6 without saying, “Wow… I’ve gotta get the hell outta here.”

I have a different translation…

Burger King has a new campaign going on… “What Your Ingredients Say About You”.

I think it says a few other things too. Mayo says “I probably like bacon too.” Mayo says “I don’t really need to see my feet. I mean really, they’re just my feet.” Hopefully you can smooth your way into your pants tomorrow. Probably not.